Tag: #Family

Relationships Have Struggles

adminJuly 19, 2017Leave a Comment

“There is no such thing as a relationship without challenges. One of the critical things is knowing that you are committed no t matter what. Commitment creates safety in knowing that life will continue even while you struggle.” This quote by Stephen Mizell is from his article ‘Our Greatest Struggle’.  In so many ways I can relate to what he shares, as Rick and I have experienced many challenges in our 25.5 years of marriage and raising ‘his and her’ children. What was the one thing that has kept us together this long, despite all of our challenges? It’s commitment!

During our darkest days, when I was so ready to walk away because each day was so difficult to get through, it was the commitment that I made to not only Rick but to our 6 daughters as well that helped me to stay and do the work I needed to do to help our marriage succeed.

Even though we have a wonderful marriage and enjoy spending as much time together as possible, little volcanoes still explode from time to time and pour down lava on our relationship. As Stephen said, the critical part of your relationship is ‘knowing that you are committed’ to one another and to your marriage. In being truly committed there is a feeling of safety as the lava begins to pour. We know that somehow we will move past this difficulty and feel the love and joy of our relationship once again.

The lesson in experiencing struggles is to realize just how wonderful life really is when you have successfully navigated beyond them. Your love and the bond between the two of you are strengthened in ways that only these struggles can create. Be grateful for each exploding volcano. Learn how to navigate through them and notice how much easier it is because you know that you are both committed to each other.

You can read Stephen Mizell’s entire article here https://stephenmizell.com/our-greatest-struggle/

Download a free copy of our ebook ‘3 Tools to Reconnect, Recommit and Refresh Your Relationship’ to help you navigate your exploding volcanoes. http://fusefamilyfocus.com/

 

Posted In FUSEing Families
Tagged | | | |

Your Expression of Joy

adminJuly 16, 2017Leave a Comment

Every act of kindness no matter how big or small always makes an impact somewhere. I like to make sad or grumpy people smile when I am out walking or shopping and it feels so good when they smile back. I know that my heart feels so much better when I am smiling and I know that I helped them to feel that way, even if for a short moment.

My mother in law had a hard and difficult childhood. She grew up as an illegitimate child in the 30s, when being the child of ‘that woman’ didn’t make you feel too good. When she became a mother her children were always well dressed and cared for. She loved her ‘babies’. Yet she still carried with her the hurt, anger and feelings of ‘not being good enough’ from her childhood. When I came into the family, a very affectionate daughter in law, it seemed she would do whatever she could to push me away or find some fault about me. After her heart attack in 2009 she began to mellow.

We moved to be near her that summer and I spent many wonderful times getting to really know this woman who was the mother of my husband. Each time her old paradigm would begin playing where she would want to be indifferent towards me I would shower her with so much more love than ever. I told her how wonderful she was. As I went through her old photos with her I admired how well she took care of her children. I praised her creativity with all her crafts, her sewing, and her knitting projects. I hugged her often.

Soon all her gruffness melted away. She felt good being around me and I found a most incredible woman beneath all her hurt. My expressions of joy had power over her feelings in a most positive way.

Reach out to others who seem angry or hurt. We don’t always know that lonely road that brought them to the place they are at. Let them know that they too are precious like everyone else. It is amazing how one hug, one kind word, one act of service, one smile can change their day. Continued kindness towards others can increase the joy in your life and the lives of all who you reach out to. You have no idea how far your joyousness can reach.

To read more about this topic I encourage you to read Sara Childre’s article https://goo.gl/Pj9tMe .  She is the President and CEO of the non-profit Institute of HeartMath.

If you haven’t received our free ebook yet you can download it here http://fusefamilyfocus.com/ for your copy of ‘3 Tools to Reconnect, Recommit and Refresh Your Relationship’

Posted In FUSEing Families
Tagged | | | |

3 Ways Parents Can Be the Hero for Their Children

adminMarch 27, 2017Leave a Comment

1 Boundaries:

  • Children push limits looking for the boundary. Why? Boundaries create a feeling of safety, of being loved and valued. No matter how much a child may think they want control, having too much power can be frightening. Intuitively they know that the adult is the one who is suppose
    to be in charge. Boundaries help a child understand what is expected of them and this gives their world a sense of order. They know what behaviours are acceptable and what is not.

2 Consistency:

  • When you say you are going to do something: do it! Inconsistency removes boundaries, leaving a child feeling confused, and insecure. This insecurity causes misbehaviours because the child is looking for and intuitively expecting someone to step up and tell them when enough, is enough. Idle threats tell your child that you really don’t care what they do and you aren’t listening or paying attention to them. If someone ignores you over and over don’t you begin to feel like you are not important, or of worth?
  • Make a routine, and stick to it as closely as possible. Plan mealtimes to happen around the same time each day and if this seems difficult aim for at least one meal that is always consistent. Make a bedtime routine that is calm, enjoyable, where trust is created and the end of the day becomes a time of sharing, bonding and peace

3 Respect:

  • All that your children want is your time and attention. Put your devices away and make your children feel like they are a priority in your life. Set aside ‘family’ time where the focus is on each other, and really listen to what your children have to say. When they know that there is a specific time set aside where they have your attention it’s easier for them to understand when you need to do adult activities.
  • Speak to your children in the same way you want them to speak to you. Value each unique individual, each wonderful personality. Young children can only model behaviours that they see on a daily basis. If you don’t like the way your children behave then go look in the mirror. What are you modeling for your children to follow?

You get to decide who you want your children to look up to. By creating safe and nurturing boundaries and reinforcing the boundaries they push against, spend time each day where they have your undivided attention, you help your child feel safe, loved and valued.

You become the person they look up to with awe; you are their Hero!

#ParentDate #Hero #Family #theoneyoulove #DaddyMan

 

Posted In Parent Date
Tagged | | | |

Family is the Highest School of Education

adminFebruary 19, 2017Leave a Comment

I read somewhere that “Family is the highest School of Education”

My first thought was that family is where our children learn to be the kind of people that they will become.  It is where they learn the values and morals, and the integrity that will

influence them for the rest of their lives.  Positive or negative, what children learn in the family setting will shape their lives. We, the parents, are the ones that have the responsibility to guide our children in the right directions – through our role modeling, through the boundaries and guidelines we set, and to pass down our spiritual and cultural heritage. (more…)

Posted In Step Parenting
Tagged | | | |