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After All of These Years

adminJanuary 11, 2023Leave a Comment

December 7 2010  we celebrated our 19th anniversary. It was a quiet day. We went to lunch together and spent quality time reflecting upon our relationship. We felt in awe at how our love for each other continues to grow and the joy we feel in being together.

Each anniversary is always another big success for us. We are a part of a small minority of couples who experience such richness and growth in a second marriage.

 A key to successful and life long marriage is creating a firm foundation to build upon. the most important part of that foundation is commitment. We made a decision to marry and  make a solemn life long commitment to one another, and not just move in together and see how things work out. From the very beginning we set the intention that this relationship was going to be for the rest of our lives.

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Posted In FUSEing Families

Parents! What your Superpowers are?

adminJanuary 11, 2023Leave a Comment

Leisa Olson

We teach Hero Training for parents because we believe that Parents are heroes for their children and here are some superpowers of a Hero.

One thing all parents want for their family is to be Happy! This is a superpower, being Happy. Not everyone is able to do this. There are a lot of grumpy people out there, grumpy parents and that can lead to grumpy children. Being in a state of Happiness is a gift that some people seem to have naturally, but everyone can have this gift. For some it may take some training, but as long as you desire and seek happiness you will find it, and with some practice you will achieve it.

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Posted In FUSEing Families

HOW DID THE PANDEMIC CHANGE OUR ROLE AS PARENT

adminJanuary 11, 2023Leave a Comment

We are all facing a time of challenges and uncertainty and even fear. Changes are happening and are mainly beyond our control. What is in our control is how we respond to these changes. This is the time to look at how you and your family can make positive changes - changes that will bring more joy, more resilience, more family into your lives. Our vision is families that are unified, strengthened and empowered or F.U.S.E.d.

 


We have all been dealing with an unprecedented worldwide event that no one in our generation has had to deal with. No one really knows how to deal with the pandemic, what is best for their family or what the long-term impacts may be. Everyone is struggling to do the best they can.

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Awareness is the Key

adminJuly 22, 2017Leave a Comment

Awareness is your knowledge and perception of a situation or fact. Before anything in your life can change you must first be aware of what needs to change. How do you become more aware? By learning more about yourself, how you think and how your thoughts influence the results in your life.

When you live in a valley you don’t have the knowledge of anything beyond the mountains until you begin to climb them. With each step of the climb the more you can see beyond. The higher you climb you begin to see rivers, lakes, communities, and highways. Your awareness of the world around you has expanded and increased.

The more you learn about ‘who’ you are and what you really want, the easier it is to make decisions about your life. As you gain more knowledge and understanding of the things that interest you, as well as how to interact with others effectively, you begin to change and your world around you changes too. You not only gain greater wisdom, but the experiences and results you want in your life begin to happen.

What are three things you can do this week to increase your awareness of an area of your life?  Maybe there is a book you have put off reading that would increase your understanding of a topic you want to know more about. Is there someone you would like to ask some questions to about an idea you have? Or you could write an article on a subject that you know others would like to know more about. When you teach something to someone else you realize how much you do know. A great way to increase your awareness is to help others increase and expand theirs.

If you haven’t already done so … Download our free ebook, “3 Tools to Reconnect, Recommit and Refresh Your Relationship” http://fusefamilyfocus.com/

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Relationships Have Struggles

adminJuly 19, 2017Leave a Comment

“There is no such thing as a relationship without challenges. One of the critical things is knowing that you are committed no t matter what. Commitment creates safety in knowing that life will continue even while you struggle.” This quote by Stephen Mizell is from his article ‘Our Greatest Struggle’.  In so many ways I can relate to what he shares, as Rick and I have experienced many challenges in our 25.5 years of marriage and raising ‘his and her’ children. What was the one thing that has kept us together this long, despite all of our challenges? It’s commitment!

During our darkest days, when I was so ready to walk away because each day was so difficult to get through, it was the commitment that I made to not only Rick but to our 6 daughters as well that helped me to stay and do the work I needed to do to help our marriage succeed.

Even though we have a wonderful marriage and enjoy spending as much time together as possible, little volcanoes still explode from time to time and pour down lava on our relationship. As Stephen said, the critical part of your relationship is ‘knowing that you are committed’ to one another and to your marriage. In being truly committed there is a feeling of safety as the lava begins to pour. We know that somehow we will move past this difficulty and feel the love and joy of our relationship once again.

The lesson in experiencing struggles is to realize just how wonderful life really is when you have successfully navigated beyond them. Your love and the bond between the two of you are strengthened in ways that only these struggles can create. Be grateful for each exploding volcano. Learn how to navigate through them and notice how much easier it is because you know that you are both committed to each other.

You can read Stephen Mizell’s entire article here https://stephenmizell.com/our-greatest-struggle/

Download a free copy of our ebook ‘3 Tools to Reconnect, Recommit and Refresh Your Relationship’ to help you navigate your exploding volcanoes. http://fusefamilyfocus.com/

 

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Your Expression of Joy

adminJuly 16, 2017Leave a Comment

Every act of kindness no matter how big or small always makes an impact somewhere. I like to make sad or grumpy people smile when I am out walking or shopping and it feels so good when they smile back. I know that my heart feels so much better when I am smiling and I know that I helped them to feel that way, even if for a short moment.

My mother in law had a hard and difficult childhood. She grew up as an illegitimate child in the 30s, when being the child of ‘that woman’ didn’t make you feel too good. When she became a mother her children were always well dressed and cared for. She loved her ‘babies’. Yet she still carried with her the hurt, anger and feelings of ‘not being good enough’ from her childhood. When I came into the family, a very affectionate daughter in law, it seemed she would do whatever she could to push me away or find some fault about me. After her heart attack in 2009 she began to mellow.

We moved to be near her that summer and I spent many wonderful times getting to really know this woman who was the mother of my husband. Each time her old paradigm would begin playing where she would want to be indifferent towards me I would shower her with so much more love than ever. I told her how wonderful she was. As I went through her old photos with her I admired how well she took care of her children. I praised her creativity with all her crafts, her sewing, and her knitting projects. I hugged her often.

Soon all her gruffness melted away. She felt good being around me and I found a most incredible woman beneath all her hurt. My expressions of joy had power over her feelings in a most positive way.

Reach out to others who seem angry or hurt. We don’t always know that lonely road that brought them to the place they are at. Let them know that they too are precious like everyone else. It is amazing how one hug, one kind word, one act of service, one smile can change their day. Continued kindness towards others can increase the joy in your life and the lives of all who you reach out to. You have no idea how far your joyousness can reach.

To read more about this topic I encourage you to read Sara Childre’s article https://goo.gl/Pj9tMe .  She is the President and CEO of the non-profit Institute of HeartMath.

If you haven’t received our free ebook yet you can download it here http://fusefamilyfocus.com/ for your copy of ‘3 Tools to Reconnect, Recommit and Refresh Your Relationship’

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3 Ways Parents Can Be the Hero for Their Children

adminMarch 27, 2017Leave a Comment

1 Boundaries:

  • Children push limits looking for the boundary. Why? Boundaries create a feeling of safety, of being loved and valued. No matter how much a child may think they want control, having too much power can be frightening. Intuitively they know that the adult is the one who is suppose
    to be in charge. Boundaries help a child understand what is expected of them and this gives their world a sense of order. They know what behaviours are acceptable and what is not.

2 Consistency:

  • When you say you are going to do something: do it! Inconsistency removes boundaries, leaving a child feeling confused, and insecure. This insecurity causes misbehaviours because the child is looking for and intuitively expecting someone to step up and tell them when enough, is enough. Idle threats tell your child that you really don’t care what they do and you aren’t listening or paying attention to them. If someone ignores you over and over don’t you begin to feel like you are not important, or of worth?
  • Make a routine, and stick to it as closely as possible. Plan mealtimes to happen around the same time each day and if this seems difficult aim for at least one meal that is always consistent. Make a bedtime routine that is calm, enjoyable, where trust is created and the end of the day becomes a time of sharing, bonding and peace

3 Respect:

  • All that your children want is your time and attention. Put your devices away and make your children feel like they are a priority in your life. Set aside ‘family’ time where the focus is on each other, and really listen to what your children have to say. When they know that there is a specific time set aside where they have your attention it’s easier for them to understand when you need to do adult activities.
  • Speak to your children in the same way you want them to speak to you. Value each unique individual, each wonderful personality. Young children can only model behaviours that they see on a daily basis. If you don’t like the way your children behave then go look in the mirror. What are you modeling for your children to follow?

You get to decide who you want your children to look up to. By creating safe and nurturing boundaries and reinforcing the boundaries they push against, spend time each day where they have your undivided attention, you help your child feel safe, loved and valued.

You become the person they look up to with awe; you are their Hero!

#ParentDate #Hero #Family #theoneyoulove #DaddyMan

 

Posted In Parent Date
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Be A Solution Seeker

adminMarch 07, 2017Leave a Comment

It was at the most difficult time in my life, and all I could see were the problems, that I came to a place where I lost all desire to dream. I was so overwhelmed in the struggles our family was facing that it seemed that there wasn’t any way to move beyond the negative energy I felt all around me.


The energy of my husband deep in despair over the negative environment of his work, teenage daughters struggling with emotional issues from the past and present, and of course, debts! I remained in that negative energy of despair because this was all I saw, the struggles of our life. It wasn’t until I finally allowed myself to listen to those 6 CDs that Rick was so enthusiastic about that the course of our life changed. I wanted a solution, needed a solution and I found it.

What we discovered was a new way to look at life. We began to think differently and we expected a way out of our struggles. We began placing our energy towards a hopeful future. Our life didn’t all of a sudden become happy and stress free, but it was so much better than it had been. 

Yes, there will be struggles in your life, hopefully you won’t hit rock bottom like we did. But if you do, the only direction is up. Set an intention that a solution is just ahead and then begin looking and expecting to find one. As you change the way you look at your life you will definitely see life in a different way. Be grateful for all that you are learning and becoming on your way to finding your solutions.

We all have super powers and we love teaching couples what they are and how to use them. This causes greater empowerment and strength in a relationship. When you help each other to remain focused on, and believing in your dreams it makes the struggles of life easier to handle.  

#ParentDate #Marriage #withtheloveofmylife #relationships #hope  #Dream

 

Posted In Parent Date

Hold Fast to Dreams

adminFebruary 26, 2017Leave a Comment

Dreams
Langston Hughes, 1902 – 1967

Hold fast to dreams 
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow.

 

Since around the age of 12 when I first came across this poem it has continued to be my most favourite poem of all. It touched my young heart and soul as if I was remembering something told to me long before I was born.

When I was around 42 our family was going through one of the toughest times of our life. Rick was struggling everyday going to a negative work environment. Our debts kept growing no matter how hard we tried to get ahead. We had two teen daughters experiencing some extreme difficulties. Everything at that time began to crumble and fall apart. Rick and I were on the pathway to divorce.

I remember feeling so much despair as I stood near the stairs up to the bedrooms where I knew my daughters would hear me.  I spoke out in a very loud voice, ‘Don’t have dreams. All they do is cause heartache and discouragement!”

Why I can remember this so vividly is because as I was saying this, with my heart so full of pain, this poem was struggling to remain with me. I could feel it inside me, ‘hold fast to your dreams Leisa’, yet I pushed it down deep inside not wanting to hear it again.

Several more things continued to happen to us that year. My dad passed away, we totalled our car on the way home from saying goodbye to him. Our youngest daughter broke her arm while we were away. Then Rick was forced to quit his job.

But we weren’t left alone, help came along. It came in the form of 6 CDs with many inspiring messages. Messages that gave us hope. Once again I pulled out my favourite poem and let it fill my heart again with dreams.

Always keep your dreams alive and keep on believing in them, because I know they are only over the next hill waiting for you to arrive. They always are, trust me!

#ParentDate #Dreams #withtheloveofmylife #Believeinyourdreams #Believe

Posted In Parent Date