- Children push limits looking for the boundary. Why? Boundaries create a feeling of safety, of being loved and valued. No matter how much a child may think they want control, having too much power can be frightening. Intuitively they know that the adult is the one who is suppose
to be in charge. Boundaries help a child understand what is expected of them and this gives their world a sense of order. They know what behaviours are acceptable and what is not.
- When you say you are going to do something: do it! Inconsistency removes boundaries, leaving a child feeling confused, and insecure. This insecurity causes misbehaviours because the child is looking for and intuitively expecting someone to step up and tell them when enough, is enough. Idle threats tell your child that you really don’t care what they do and you aren’t listening or paying attention to them. If someone ignores you over and over don’t you begin to feel like you are not important, or of worth?
- Make a routine, and stick to it as closely as possible. Plan mealtimes to happen around the same time each day and if this seems difficult aim for at least one meal that is always consistent. Make a bedtime routine that is calm, enjoyable, where trust is created and the end of the day becomes a time of sharing, bonding and peace
- All that your children want is your time and attention. Put your devices away and make your children feel like they are a priority in your life. Set aside ‘family’ time where the focus is on each other, and really listen to what your children have to say. When they know that there is a specific time set aside where they have your attention it’s easier for them to understand when you need to do adult activities.
- Speak to your children in the same way you want them to speak to you. Value each unique individual, each wonderful personality. Young children can only model behaviours that they see on a daily basis. If you don’t like the way your children behave then go look in the mirror. What are you modeling for your children to follow?
You get to decide who you want your children to look up to. By creating safe and nurturing boundaries and reinforcing the boundaries they push against, spend time each day where they have your undivided attention, you help your child feel safe, loved and valued.
You become the person they look up to with awe; you are their Hero!